Money vs. Passion?
I'm in a weird mood today. Kind of annoyed, kind of restless....just a mesh of things. I don't like this kind of mood cause I can't seem to put my finger on what the problem is. I'm going to use two examples of my mood. So, newly married I have a new house. I love it but there are so many things about it that I would like to change; the color of a couple rooms, I need some curtains, I want some new furniture, I want some new appliances. I can fix one thing but there are a dozen other things that need to be fixed so it's like a never ending project. Another lame example: I love clothes and shoes, and I have a lot of them, and yet I hate all of them. I have skirts that I would love to wear but I don't feel like I have the right shirt to go with them or the right pair of shoes. So, even if I go out and buy one new shirt, I'm still going to be lacking that pair of shoes, so the shirt would be a waste. Does that make sense? Just a general unsatisfied feeling.
Ok, I also am a musician, I haven't mentioned that and that's not the point of this blog but I'll talk a bit about it here. I have a degree in Vocal performance and so I sing opera, musical theater, jazz, contemporary...you name it. Except hip hop and rap ..duh. I also am a piano player and I accompany and play for pleasure. Basically music is my passion, especially singing. However, because I sing so many different genres should I choose one to focus on? If I half-ass my focus on all of them then I will accomplish nothing. But I want to sing all of them. Actually the feuding two are Opera and Musical Theater. People high up in the Opera biz say that you absolutely cannot sing Opera and Musical Theater at the same time. However, I love singing musical theater but I cannot deny that I have a talent in Opera. So, what do I do?
It's just a frustrating feeling. I'm so young and I feel like I'm standing at about 10 different roads with pressure coming from all of them. My question is: How do you decide what you want to do? When does the light go off? Should I wait for a light to go off? If I wait and it never comes than I could have passed up huge opportunities. For all I know if I focus on Opera I could be singing lead roles at the Met in 10 years. But, if I focus on Musical Theater I could be singing lead roles on Broadway in 10 years. Or, neither of those will happen because I didn't focus on either of them and missed out.
And I also feel this sense of urgency sitting at my job doing NOTHING wondering what I could be doing if I didn't have this obligation to make money! What a waste of my life right now. I stare at a computer all day long wasting away. No matter what I do there is always something else that needs to get done. Will I ever be satisfied.
You may be wondering why this all came on. Well, I'm not entirely sure. I had a meeting at work this morning and was so frustrated that I almost just got up and walked out (ok, not really, but you get the idea.) As I said I do nothing at this job but then when we have a meeting my boss talks to us as though we are experts in this field and we have been working our butts off. My question is, doesn't he notice that we're all sitting around reading books and checking our email 500 times a day? What does he think we're doing? Then, I talked to my old piano teacher and she has been talking to my voice teacher (who I can't afford to take lessons from cause this waste of a job doesn't provide that luxury...funny..)and they're both wondering how I can handle sitting at a desk all day when they know me well enough to know that my passion is music. I feel like I'm sitting in a prison looking outside at what I really want to do but just not able to do it cause I'm locked in this cage of working (that was my attempt at being poetic..)
I know that millions of people feel this way. Everybody has a passion in life, something that they wish that they could get paid for. I think it's a real jip that people are born with passions and talents and the majority of people never get to fully tap into them and see their true potential because of this retarted money thing. I'm kind of venting but it's really bothering me right now.
Anyhow, my boss just came over and gave me a duty. Oh joy. I'm not really in that bad of a mood, I'm just contemplative and a little discouraged.
posted by Jenny at
2:29 PM
2 Comments:
Passion vs. money has been a long running debate in many people's lives. The truth is, we have to make money and this is not a principle we can escape. Usually, when you talk to someone who is actually living and working out their passion, they have spent years doing other things to make money to enable them to really do their passion. And in that time, they learn principles and skills that will help carry their passions to further success. Not to mention that they become more mature and better able to handle the success and fullfilment their true passion brings to thier lives. Look at the pop stars who indulge in thier passion before they mature enough to handle it and stay sane (Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, etc.) They push past the actual expression of their passion and fall into the tempation of fame and fortune and they lose themselves and their passion at the same time. It's a sad state of affairs.
So many times we are in a hurry to go after our passions and fulfill our dreams, but our passions and dreams are part of the journey of life- for if we ever fully fulfill all the potential we have and fully indulge in all our passions, what else will we do? Would we not grow bored? Our passions drive us to continue and strive after that which we want, and when we finally get to enjoy some of our passions, we are a lot more accomplished- knowing we have worked to get there.
What's really sad are the people who give up on thier passion- who sit back and let their money making jobs consume thier lives and they forget about their passion. They don't let it drive them. Instead they remain passionless- drudging through life trying to make it paycheck to paycheck with no goals or excitement about the future. Get married, have kids, the kids graduate, and then what? They've let go of their passion and dreams because they are too hard to attain. And so they sit there- after retirement, doing nothing. Sure, they didn't have to deal with the inner struggle of trying to fulfill thier dreams, but they didn't get any satisfaction or fulfillment out of actually reaching any of those dreams.
So you're stuck between two choices: 1. Dealing with the inner struggle between where you are and where you want to be (your passions and dreams) or 2. Giving up on your dreams so you don't struggle anymore.
The struggle makes you who you are- it makes your realized passions and dreams that much more in-depth and powerful and touching to those you share them with. After all, what good is our life and our talents if we can't share them with others and make a difference?
That was beautiful Cortni. But, very true. You make some very good points....I obviously do not want to be like Britney Spears. I still think it's dumb.
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