Wintery, Christmas Goodness

This is my dream place to live!
Today is the first day of Winter and I have to say that it is a sad sight to see here in the Northwest. Disgusting moderate weather, that is all we get. Currently it is an even 50 degrees outside and raining. Gross. I had a glimmer of hope last week when it was down in the low 20's here with frost all over the ground and icy roadways. Driving the icy back roads to work to avoid traffic, white-knuckled and all, I still couldn't help but feel a little leap of joy at the crisp weather outside. But, alas, here we are 4 days before Christmas and it is disgusting and warm outside.

Sometimes I actually get mad at the weather (as if it can control itself) for being so dang boring. I was born and raised here so I should be used to it, but it makes me mad every year how little snow we get. Then to top it off when we do get snow the news stations will say, "Don't worry, this will be gone by Sunday" or some stupid remark about how much we hate it here. I don't!! I love it! Of course, they are always right, although they should say, "Don't worry it will be gone immediately after it starts-- in fact don't even worry about it at all because it will turn to rain before you can even enjoy it." That is exactly what happens here. It snows and then *poof* turns into rain. It is the ultimate let down for me.

I dream of living in a town where you can expect snow every year, and lot's of it. I dream of living in a log cabin up in a mountain town where everybody knows eachother and everybody decorates for Christmas and there are sleigh rides and snowmen and hot chocolate and Christmas carolers......that sounds awesome.

But instead, here I am sitting at a desk looking sadly out the window at the dreary crap coming down outside.

It's funny, this entry was originally going to be about my love for Christmas, instead I just complained. Oh well, I feel better now.

A Rant

Obvioulsy the last blog turned into a rant and rave session. There are aspects of discussing politics that I like, but there is an even larger part that I do not. I think that there are so many opinions out there that claim to be fact that it is virtually impossible to discern which is which and, quite frankly, it is almost a waste of time.

EVERYBODY is entitled to their opinon, no matter what that happens to be. Luckily, we are in a country where that doesn't jeopardize your life. I sure would have been dead a long time ago...

My opinion is that people don't just pick and choose. They choose one and then stick with it, no matter what it is. What I mean is this: As you can see I generally lean towards the more conservative side of politics, I voted for Bush both times around and I generally support almost everything that he has done. I emphasize "almost" because I want to make the point that just because he is who I voted for or he is in the party that I tend to lean towards does not mean that he is God and whatever he says goes and must be right. No. I develop my opinons based on what I read, who I listen to, what I research, who I trust etc. The same way everybody develops their opinions.

Then there is someone like Clinton. Most would then assume that I am anti-Clinton, just like all you out there who are anti-Bush. Actually, I am not. For the most part I do not like him as a person based on things that he did while he was in office (and I can only go off of that because I do not know him personally). I also tend to not agree with him politically. But, there are things that I do agree with. No on can deny that he did some good things while he was in office. I certainly can't. And if I did I would be ignoring what is in front of me. He helped our economy a great deal and you can't ignore that no matter how much you dislike him as a person or tend to disagree with him politically.

What I see when it comes to the current President is that people have lumped him into one category. You either hate him or you love him. That's complete BS to me. I wish that people would look at what is in front of them and then discern what they think. If you have ears and eyes it is impossible to miss some of the good things he has done. I will say this again, he has liberated a country from one of the worst dictators of all time. He has saved millions of lives from this man, in the present as well as the future. He is allowing a country to finally be able to make up their own minds on who governs them and what they believe and what their opinons are. That is wonderful. You cannot deny that or you would be denying the greatest thing about the country that you live in.

Just because I say all that does not mean that everything he has done has been heaven-sent. No. I pick and choose based on what I agree with and what I do not agree with. Politics have turned petty to me and very "junior-high".

The point of this blog was to show I am not just a "I love Bush no matter what, he's the best president that ever lived" kind of person. I develop my opinions based on what I discern to be fact and what I have decided in my life to be my values and morals. Just how everybody else does, conservative or liberal. You cannot argue with that, (although I'm sure someone will).

Happy Times

This weekend was a pretty fun weekend. It was very busy, but very fun. On Friday Dalton had his company party at a really nice restaurant in Seattle. I was a little nervous to go because I wanted to make a good impression on the people that he worked with. But everybody was really nice and after about 15 minutes the nervousness was gone. (It helped that they had an open bar...).

On Saturday night I threw my first ever Christmas/Housewarming party. I was so excited for this, I went shopping for decorations and baked all morning and afternoon on Saturday (as well as just setting out some pre-made appetizers.) The party turned out great. We had a turn out of about 25 or so people and went through a good 8 bottles of wine and almost all the food was eaten. In my opinion, it was a success. I have always wanted to be the entertainer-- it's so fun to invite people into your house and have a party.

Yesterday I had a laid back day. I had things to do but nothing pressing--which was nice considering the past week that I had (and this week as well..). I am a volunteer for Franciscan Hospice which, for anyone who doesn't know, is a program established for people at the end their lives. More specifically, for people who have been given 6 months or less to live. The program is essentially a comfort program, they are taken off all medication except for pain relievers and such. The point is to make their last days (once the doctor has decided that there is really nothing else that can be done) as comfortable as possible. One of the things that they provide is a volunteer for each patient. The volunteer is basically just a ready-made friend for the patient. I had to go through about 50 hours of training to become this, and the rewards are incredible.

My patients name is Jim. He had a stroke a while back and has been placed in a rehabilitation center. His short-term memory is very bad and his speech is a little slurred. But other than that he is the most alive person in that center! He's always smiling and a total chatterbox! We have become quite good friends in the few months that I have been visiting with him. He calls me his "soulmate". He also told me that he means that in a completey "unsexual" way---which I thought was pretty funny! He doesn't have much in the way of family except an ex-wife that comes and visits him throughout the week. He's not sure where his kids are (although with his memory problem they could be living down the street!).

Jim loves music. To me that is very special because of my love for music. There are two things that he has no problem remembering and that is his cat "lil' darlin" and music, mainly old jazz and swing standards. He loves instrumental music---Benny Goodman and the Glenn Miller band are his favorite. He also loves Ella. When he starts talking about music his face lights up and he can remember every detail of every song. It's pretty amazing to me. He always says that music is the greatest gift that God has ever given. The problem I had is that I noticed that he has no way to listen to this music that he loves so much. That's unacceptable to me, if someone loves music as much as Jim he needs to be able to listen to it. So Dalton and I decided that we would buy him a little portable Cd/Tape player and give him some of his favorite CD's. He opened it last night and was so overwhelmed. He kept saying, "This is the most beautiful gift, I am so overwhelmed, how did you know?" Well, I knew because he told me but he can't remember that he told me. It is an unfortunate vicious circle. What was amazing to me is that as soon as Benny Goodman came on he was singing along to every note and pointing out who was playing what instrument to me, "This is Harry James on the trumpet, this is so and so on the drums". His face just lit up. As I was leaving he told me again what a wonderful friend I am to him and again that "God's most beautiful gift to us is music so you have just given me the most beautiful gift."

I cannot tell you how great that makes me feel. Here is this incredible man that society has basically forgotten about. He is so vibrant and full of life, and he still has so much to give. When I walk into that center and see all the people in there living in awful conditions (it's not the nicest place...) I just wonder if that will be me one day. All of those people at one point were children with dreams and fantasies about what they will be when they grow up. Probably most of them have been in love, maybe had some children and had a great career. Now, they sit and drool and talk to themselves most of the day. It's very disturbing to me. If everybody would try to connect with someone like Jim they would realize that people in those situations or in that stage of their lives have so much wisdom to give out, and sooo much love to give out if they're given the chance. I know that Jim thinks that I am a great friend and that he is so lucky to have someone come visit him but, not to sound cliche, he does more for me than I do for him. He makes me value my life more everytime I go and visit him (even though there are times when I really don't want to go). I feel very privledged to be such a good friend to him in the last days of his life. It's about as rewarding as it can get.

That was my weekend. Very full and exciting. It's weekend's like these that I feel so happy to be alive and very fortunate to be where I am.

Today is potentially one of the longest days I have ever had. I've had busy days, tons of them--but this one is just non-stop and it involves a lot of driving which I get really sick of. I came into work at 7 am (that's disgusting in and of itself), I leave for a rehearsal in Puyallup at 3, leave for another rehearsal at 6, leave that rehearsal at 9:30 for a friends concert in Seattle at 10:30. Arrive home around 12:30.

Sick. (and I don't mean sick=awesome or rad, I mean sick=puke, gross, disgusting.)

For the Love of Cheese

I love to eat. I REALLY love to eat. It gives me some sort of satisfaction that nothing else can. But at the same time nothing else gives me as much grief. I'm not fat or chubby or chunky (whatever awful adjective out there given to overweight people), but I do have about 10 pounds that I would like to lose. But food is ruining it for me! Granted I had 19 I wanted to lose and I've already lost 9, so I'm not doing so bad. However, no matter how lovely the benefits of losing that weight are, it requires giving up a certain amount of food, and that literally pains me. I know pathetic. I am a salt addict, not so much a sweet tooth. I could eat an entire bag of cheetos EASILY in one sitting (I never have tried but I know I could), or potato chips, or just a cheese ball with some crackers is good enough for me. Pizza, popcorn (dalton can attest to that..), potato chips, top ramen, cheese---anything that has an excess of sodium I'm game for. Good thing it's almost lunch time..

Of course, I do have a reasonable amount of self-control, otherwise I would have a whole lot more to lose then 10 pounds. I just think about food all the time. But then I visualize myself without that excess weight and I get all excited. Of course I'm not going to look drastically different but I would certainly feel more comfortable. I love being naked (is that too personal?) but right now I'm not a big fan of it cause I'm all self-concious. I would love to put on my little swimsuit or just nothing at all and walk around the house not even thinking about it. Or if I'm thinking about it it's, "I am so freaking hot, where's Dalton?" Right now it's, "Where's Dalton? Cause if he's anywhere around then I need to sit up, suck in or just put something on." I thought that that would go away after being married, but I don't want him to get the short end of the deal---I will never be one of those women that just let themselves go after marriage or childbirth. That doesn't seem fair, to me or him.

I'll do it. I'll be super hot, just wait. If I could just kick this eating habit...

Typical Jenny..

Christmas is coming and it is my favorite time of year. I love everything about it, especially the tree and all the lights and all the food....
So this past week I went to go get my husband his Christmas present (or presents..) but there is one main part that I was so excited to give him. When I bought it I wanted to call him so badly to tell him what I gotten for him, but obvioulsy you can't do that. We decided that his present would be hidden in the upstairs guest bedroom's closet where he had been keeping some of his nice work pants. He told me that he would take then out of the closet and then he would have no reason to go in there so it would be a perfect place for it. He was given the garage to hide mine in. So last night we were about to start decorating the tree when I realized that there was an ornament that was missing. I knew that last year I had taken it to thing to use as a sort of prop for something so I figured it was in my winter coat, which was in that closet with his gift. So, I went up to see if it was there and it wasn't, but in doing so I realized that there was a pair of my husbands pants in there that I figured he would need and I didn't want him to look for them in that closet. So I brought them downstairs and calmly said, "Hey Dalton, these pants were in the closet with the telescope."

Yep. I flat out told him what I had gotten him for Christmas.

The Beautiful Art of Singing

I had my first voice lesson since about 6 months ago last night. It was amazing. Singing is an absolutely astounding phenomenon. For anybody who knows me they know that I have a very raspy, somewhat low speaking voice. However, when I sing an entirely different sound comes out---one that you would never guess listening to my speaking voice. I am a very high soprano and have learned over the years (through hours and hours of training, and some natural talent) how to amplify that sound into that of your everyday opera singer. The sound is thrilling to sing and to listen to , and I'm not just talking about my voice, I am talking about anybody who sings opera. The sound is amazing and incredibly powerful. For me, when I sing that way it feels like nothing I have ever felt. In fact, I don't even know how to describe it, I can feel the vibrations going throughout my body as I get higher and higher. For me, and for anybody who sings opera, the technique of singing eventually starts to feel and sound effortless and actually feels really good once you learn how to do it correctly. It feels effortless but it is nothing of the sort. Whenever I get done singing like that (last night it was for an hour) I am physically exhausted. My stomach feels a little sore and my body is drained. A lot of that is from all the adrenaline that is pumping through my body.

When a person sings correctly they are using virtually their entire upper body to produce that kind of sound. When people are first learning to sing or are just singing for a hobby and have never studied they tend to sing from their throats. That is a reasonalbe assumption and mistake to make cause you think, "my vocal chords are in my throat so that is where the sound comes from." Right, but to sing correctly and to use your voice to the full extent of what it is capable you have to sing with your stomach and you face. Interesting, I know. I will give you a brief idea of how this works: When people breathe normally everyday they are breathing from their chest and shoulders and typically when you ask somebody to take a deep breath they do so and you can see their chest puff out, their stomach suck in, and their shoulders raise. What a lot of people don't know is that this is not the most efficient way to get the most breath in. By sucking in your stomach you are limiting the amount of air that can get into your lungs. In singing you are taught a completely different way of breathing which involves breathing in and feeling up through your entire mid section. When this happens your diaphragm (which is right below your sternum) expands allowing your lungs to expand further. You'll notice when a singer is singing correctly (typically an opera singer because this requires the most control) that their stomach is moving quite a bit. This is the process of taking a breath correctly and then allowing the diaphram to control the amount of air that is being released in each phrase. You learn how to hold out notes longer at different volumes and to sing through entire phrases without taking a breath or, if need be, taking an extremely quick but very full breath that typically isn't audible to the audience but allows you to continue the phrase without having to stop. It's an incredible thing to learn and takes time but when you do learn it and continue to work on it your voice will slowly start to develop. You also have cut your risk in half if not more, of hurting yourself while singing.

When I said you sing from your face I do not mean that literally. Singing is extremely visual and mental. Your nasal cavaties are in your face and in order to produce a sound that is not breathy and with a lot of volume you must learn to utilize your nasal passages. In singing lessons a lot of your warm-ups use the vowel EE because that is the most nasal of the vowels and typically when you use that vowel singing you can feel vibrations in your face and nose. Then you learn to continue that feeling you get from the vowel EE into other vowels such A, Ah, Oh, Oo. You'll singers talk about placement a lot, and that is what they are talking about. Also, a lot of singers raise their eyebrows a lot, this is because they are mentally allowing the sound to come from their nasal passages so it is clear and vibrant. How else do you think opera singers can have their voices project to the back of a 2000 or more seat auditorium? It is an incredible art and a beautiful example of just how complex our bodies really are.

I cannot put into words how much I love to sing. For me it is the best way I know how, and the most powerful way to become completely in touch with my emotions, whatever they are. This might sound cheesy, but it is a very spiritual thing for me. In a nut shell, I just feel very lucky to have been given a gift as incredible as singing. For those of you who read all the way through, good job--I kind of went off their but I am so passionate about it that it's hard not to.