I'm back again...3 years later.
I thought about starting an entirely new blog but then I realized that I enjoyed having these old posts around. To remind me of what I was, and what I still am. I enjoy reading them.
I've decided to try to add to this more frequently because I've been stalking other people's blogs lately (admit it, we all stalk.) and I feel like I have stuff to say as well. Here's the catch: you must put up with my terrible grammar and my incessant ranting because that is pretty much what you'll get from me. So, either deal with it and read it...or don't. Seems fair.
So, what's on my mind right now at 12:10am on Sunday morning? Well, a lot. Ready? Here comes the ranting. I think I wanted to restart this blog thing as an opportunity to get things out of me. I think I bottle up more than I should. Those of you who know me really well are probably laughing right now. "Jenny, bottle up? The girl who starts talking and doesn't stop for 5 days?" Well, that's true. But things I have realized about me lately is that I share a lot but I keep a lot inside. I can be extremely surface. Some of my friends recently have told me that I surprise them with reactions to things or that some of my actions or discussions I've had with them lately are very "un-Jenny like". Well, what is "Jenny-like"? What does that even mean? I'm learning a lot about myself lately and some of it I really like and some of it I really don't. But one thing I am learning is that I can deceive myself pretty easily and then put on that particular face for people when I'm feeling something completely different. I'm sure a lot of people do it but I always considered myself a very genuine person. I'm starting to wonder how true that is.
Lately (and by lately I mean the last few months), I have come to a lot of conclusions about myself and have become more confused about myself than I think I ever have. I guess everybody goes through periods like this. I used to (and sometimes still do) laugh at people when they talk about "figuring out who they are" or saying things like "I don't really feel like I know myself" or "I didn't really feel like I knew myself until at least my mid-thirties". How do you not know yourself? You, above everyone else in the universe, should know yourself the best and if you don't...that's just weird. Well...I kind of get it now. Sort of. I don't think it's about figuring yourself out, at least for me it's not, it's that people are forever growing and being influenced by new people or new situations. That's one of the great things about life, it's constantly surprising. How would I know I liked brussel sprouts until I tried them? I didn't learn something new about myself, I had just never experienced them before.
I don't even know if that makes sense. See what I mean about the ranting? Good for you if you're still following.
Another thing I'm trying to do is listen to more music. So, at the end of each post I'm going to leave you with a song to listen to and try it out because all of you out there should also be experiencing new music or re-visiting music you already know. Music is amazing. On a recent trip down to LA for an audition I took along my mp3 player. I'm relatively new to this tiny thing that can hold 30+ albums. I just don't get it. But, I decided to take it with me since I would be traveling alone and music makes me happy. I realized that by having this thing with me, suddenly my life had a soundtrack -- it was great!
Anyway, back to that song thing. Your song assignment tonight is to listen to Bruce Cockburn (pronounced Coe-burn...unfortunate spelling for him). A song called "He Came From the Mountain" I'll let you come to conclusions about this song. I have my own but that's why I like music, everyone hears something different.
I've decided to try to add to this more frequently because I've been stalking other people's blogs lately (admit it, we all stalk.) and I feel like I have stuff to say as well. Here's the catch: you must put up with my terrible grammar and my incessant ranting because that is pretty much what you'll get from me. So, either deal with it and read it...or don't. Seems fair.
So, what's on my mind right now at 12:10am on Sunday morning? Well, a lot. Ready? Here comes the ranting. I think I wanted to restart this blog thing as an opportunity to get things out of me. I think I bottle up more than I should. Those of you who know me really well are probably laughing right now. "Jenny, bottle up? The girl who starts talking and doesn't stop for 5 days?" Well, that's true. But things I have realized about me lately is that I share a lot but I keep a lot inside. I can be extremely surface. Some of my friends recently have told me that I surprise them with reactions to things or that some of my actions or discussions I've had with them lately are very "un-Jenny like". Well, what is "Jenny-like"? What does that even mean? I'm learning a lot about myself lately and some of it I really like and some of it I really don't. But one thing I am learning is that I can deceive myself pretty easily and then put on that particular face for people when I'm feeling something completely different. I'm sure a lot of people do it but I always considered myself a very genuine person. I'm starting to wonder how true that is.
Lately (and by lately I mean the last few months), I have come to a lot of conclusions about myself and have become more confused about myself than I think I ever have. I guess everybody goes through periods like this. I used to (and sometimes still do) laugh at people when they talk about "figuring out who they are" or saying things like "I don't really feel like I know myself" or "I didn't really feel like I knew myself until at least my mid-thirties". How do you not know yourself? You, above everyone else in the universe, should know yourself the best and if you don't...that's just weird. Well...I kind of get it now. Sort of. I don't think it's about figuring yourself out, at least for me it's not, it's that people are forever growing and being influenced by new people or new situations. That's one of the great things about life, it's constantly surprising. How would I know I liked brussel sprouts until I tried them? I didn't learn something new about myself, I had just never experienced them before.
I don't even know if that makes sense. See what I mean about the ranting? Good for you if you're still following.
Another thing I'm trying to do is listen to more music. So, at the end of each post I'm going to leave you with a song to listen to and try it out because all of you out there should also be experiencing new music or re-visiting music you already know. Music is amazing. On a recent trip down to LA for an audition I took along my mp3 player. I'm relatively new to this tiny thing that can hold 30+ albums. I just don't get it. But, I decided to take it with me since I would be traveling alone and music makes me happy. I realized that by having this thing with me, suddenly my life had a soundtrack -- it was great!
Anyway, back to that song thing. Your song assignment tonight is to listen to Bruce Cockburn (pronounced Coe-burn...unfortunate spelling for him). A song called "He Came From the Mountain" I'll let you come to conclusions about this song. I have my own but that's why I like music, everyone hears something different.
posted by Jenny at
12:06 AM
1 Comments
